Practicing Good Listening!

Practicing Good Listening All of us have had years of training in reading and writing. It’s the basis of education. But few of us have had training in listening and speaking, the two activities that many times we spend far more time doing as professionals. Our job today is to focus on the topic of listening. How many times have you said to your people, “I have a constant open door. Come in to talk to me anytime you would like.” And then while you’re working busily at your computer, your colleague comes in and you say, “Go ahead. Tell me. Tell me.” But you continue to work. You see, just because you have ears doesn’t necessarily mean you’re listening. And even if you could repeat back what it was they were saying, the message you’re giving them is, “I really don’t care about what you have to say.” The choice to be a good listener requires a conscious decision to go off scan and into focusing on the message that the person is sharing. Don’t pretend that you have an open door. If you’re busy, let them know. I'd much rather have a boss that would let me know, “Hey, I need five minutes to get to a good breakpoint. Then I’ll give you my full attention.” But instead, we pretend to listen, and we convey a message that communicates we don’t care about the input or the decisions or the questions that our people have. So that requires a conscious choice. I often will find that when you say you’re busy, most people don’t mind coming back in five minutes, if it’s an important issue. You can say, “Just a minute. Let me write a brief orienting note about where I was going.” I actually will physically put the word "orient" in my computer file. Next to it I will identify my train of thought about where I was going, and then I save it. That way, when I come back to that particular project later or when I’m finished with my conversation, all I have to do is go find "orient." I’ve got my train of thought and it gives my reentry back into my work. It also conveys to the person that I care enough to be emptying out to be ready to really listen to what it is that you have to share and the questions that you have. Keep in mind also that where your eyes are is where your true focus is. It isn’t just whether or not you hear the content; it’s the energy you give to a person. So if I’m focused on the computer, I’m giving a very different message. Now you can defend against this, but think about it, if the president of your company came in and you said, “Sure. Go ahead. Tell me, tell me.” And you continue to look at your computer? I don’t think you’d do that. The message you give when you give your focus to people is that, “I care about you and you count.” Take the time in the midst of that to also be a good note taker. Note takers make better listeners. Research out of the University of Minnesota, it surprised me in fact because I always felt when you’re writing notes, you’re not processing. But what happens when you’re writing notes is you’re organizing the receipt of that information. You’re looking at the key points that are being said and you’re giving evidence to the person that you’re taking them seriously. If anyone ever reacts to you taking notes, you can just say, “I just want to make sure I make record of this because I want to make sure that we do something about it.” Our key point, and I want you to really isolate this; listening is not a passive habit. It’s an active one where your eyes are focused, where your content is focused, where you keep yourself taking notes about what it is that you want to see accomplished, you’ll find that we all know how to listen when it’s important, but realize there is no more important investment in your people than taking five minutes to listen to what’s important to them.